I was surfing my facebook page after my classes were done on Friday and was looking a a friend's page who I had lost touch with long ago. On his page there was a link to a group thread titled "RIP" and I followed the link. It turns out the thread was dedicated to FFS alumni who had died. The first three names I knew had died, though the other nine I had not. I knew all nine people, but was only close to three. I lived with Lee Grivas and Kelly Gorham for nearly two years each and Chris Gulliano was on my basketball team and shared many classes with me.
I doubt that I would have ever crossed paths with any of them ever again and they were not in my lives, though I still felt a sense of great loss. The hardest part for me is that I don't know specifically how or when any of them died, though I have sent out some messages to try and get that information, I do not know if I will be able to. I do know that they all died at least two years ago and suspect that none of them died well or for good reasons.
Yesterday was the first day that it was hard for me to be here in Korea. I was at school when I found out and did not want any of my co-teachers or students to see me as distressed as I was, so I left work early. Though I know it was not the healthiest thing to do, I went to the bar and tried to down out my misery in vodka and waters. The bartender/owner was a Korean man probably in his mid-fifties who offered his sympathy (along with a little concern, being well aware that drinking was likely not the best thing for me). After a few drinks we started to talk about life and death and different perspectives. We ended up having a three hour discussion about life and what is important, then politics, then war, then finance and economics, and then life again. Though I am not sure exactly why, I felt much better after our talk. I do remember leaving the bar feeling much more confident that both people and life are inherently good.
I bought three red roses and burnt them on the rooftop of the apartment of a girl who I have been seeing lives. Though I have not been seeing her for very long, she was very supportive and it was nice to have someone here to help me through this. Though I am still sad for my friends, I woke up today with the distinct impression that it is a completely new day. Being here in Korea and getting news like that really should have been hard, especially because I have just arrived and have yet to get a cell phone and can't called any of the people closest to me, but it wasn't so bad.
I am headed to the national war museum tomorrow and the cultural district in Seoul tomorrow and will post something more "bloggy" then, but thanks for reading.
Mike
5 comments:
Yo buddy, sorry to hear about your classmates.
I have a coworker who is Korean, although not born in Korea and she recommended the Tibet Museum in Seoul.
She said its must-see.
-Puro
Hi. It's me, Lee Grivas's mom. You probably remember me and also Ed. Lee struggled with relapses and recovery after he graduated high school. He had an exciting, adventurous life of photography, professional fishing in the Bering Sea and loving his family and friends. He was preparing to go to sea long term when he died of a drug overdose. If you would like more personal details you can cotact Ed and me through the school. I no longer work there, but Ed does. I am touched by your comments and your memorial of roses. Lee died this past summer. He was found dead in his apartment July 1st. Ed and I both had long, happy phone conversations with him, sober, the day before he died. He was trying to get clean. I would love to hear from you and if you give me your email through Ed at the school, I will send you pictures. I hope you really enjoy your time in Korea.
Lee's mom
Hey Mike, I'm so sorry to hear that. I know it stinks not being able to contact anyone though the phone, just drop me an e-mail if you need someone to talk to. I do love you very much, and I can't imagine what it must be like so far away from home hearing that news, but I'm always here and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Lots of Love,
Chels
Life can be like a tower of blocks. You can spend a lot of time and hard work building them up really high and perfect... and then out of no where someone can come and knock them all down.
The import thing is that you still have blocks.
Love you bro.
Mike, that's pretty rough. A similar thing happened to me last year. A kid I graduated with died in a car accident in my town. I didn't know him at all, and actually only had one bad memory of him, but it still hit me hard. It must have been worse for you.
Let me know if you need anything.
God Bless,
Carl
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